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Hey ya all just a quick update cuz i need to get to bed so i can get… - My Life
July 5th, 2005
11:01 pm

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Hey ya all just a quick update cuz i need to get to bed so i can get some good sleep this week, since i havent been lately. My life lately has been like a rollar coster ride. There are still things going on with the whole sean thing, like i am so scared for him right now. I want him to be able to talk to me, cuz I really thought we had that kind of relationship that we could still be best friends or friends at all for that matter.But now I just feel like i am kidding myself. My whole family wants me to stay away from him and not to ever get back together with him, that if he changed like this once he will again. But something deep down inside of me is telling me dont give up on him. I know i could be blinded by love, but I dont think thats it. Him and his new gf just bought a truck together and I guess are looking for a dog. His mom was recently in the hospital cuz she shattered her femer. And I was told Sean didnt go to see her at all. And that he hardly talks to his little brother. So I dont know anymore at all.
On good news for a little I went to see Kenny Chesney, with Nikki from Miller Park. And we ended up getting 4th row tickets, and then we got up to the first row. My pics are awesome, words just cant discribe them. To see Him so close well, that was like a dream come true and I loved that I went with Nikki we had a blast, well for the most part. Thats where this other sean update comes into play. oh if your sick of me talking about him then dont read this next part.
So the day of the concert he ims me to tell me he has 7th row tix. Not like I really cared, but still, anyways. So Nikki and I go down find out that we got 8th row what we thought at the time, so I call seans cell to see what section he is in. Now keep in mind that he choose to answer his cell when he saw my number come up. He did and he also chose to tell me what section he was in. He could of lied and told me a different one. But didnt, so I told him I would buy him a beer that night. So anyways we get to the concert, and well we see them walk in, oh yea our tix were really 4th row when we found out cuz they didnt start with A in our section and sean was really 2 row behind us. So that was a huge plus. So then after grettchen willion( oh yea his new gf is really short so she had to stand on the seat to see lol) I went to the bathroom and I get a text from him telling me that his is 2 row behind us and to the left and that he is really fucked up. SO I went and got beers for all of us, and went to go give him one and his gf one cuz i am that nice. Well I get there and she shoows me away and I was like i told you i would buy you a beer tonight so here is the beers. ANnd still did it so I was like okay whatever and then his gf butts in and was like you dont need to be starting shit and then pulls him and starts to make out with her. SHE IS 28 years old !!!! SO i was like well you know what then tell your bf to stop texting me and callin me then. SO then nikki and i drank all the beers ourself and had a kick ass time
I took tons of pics if you want to see them, you can see nose hairs lol. SO yea anyways. So that night i texted him and told him i was done with him and he needs to fuck off and shit cuz you know i was trying to get along with him but when he tells others its me who doesnt want to get along pissed me off even more. Like there was no need for that shit at Kenny, He didnt have to tell me he had 7th row or what section or answer his cell or text me. You know. And then I saw an email. Not telling you how i saw it but I am so scared for him right now.

His new gf is 28 !!! She is robbing the craddle like she cant find a guy her own age.

I am just tyring to hang in there and all, and just take it as it comes and be there if he needs someone. I am hangin out with james a lot more nad Brian is hanging with me too. i dont know what i am gonna do when brian moves away. And if james moves too.

But on a better note, kevin talked me and told me I was still like family to them, so that was great! I love and miss kevin and I get to see him tomorrow so I am super happy about that.

Oh yea things are still trying to work out with Jason. I am making progress

Oh and I lost almost 30lbs since Sean and I broke up !!! YEA ME only like 40 more to go

Current Mood: stressedstressed

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